forgotten

i've forgotten people, days,  places, moments

i've forgotten things that i would do anything to remember

like; the way it used to feel when you would hold my hand 

&  how it felt to wake up at 5am on christmas & have all the energy in the world 

or even the embarrassment I had when I had a phone with no camera but everyone else had a 4th generation iPhone 

& the thoughts i had on wednesday, but not thursday because I wrote them down. 

i don't remember your face when you said it, i just remember that feeling i got 

i've forgotten what it's like to have a 3rd grade crush because since then all i've had is a 5th grade crush

& i want to remember that day forever because i think how i felt that day was that feeling i used to get in my stomach when my 3rd grade crush liked me back 

& can i just say this blog post would be much more creative if i was in 1st grade, but maybe not, i just can't remember

i've forgotten and i just want to remember

Whatever you do

don't ever tell someone they are fat,

be happy for no reason, like a child,

remember, a year changes you a lot,

remember, we are all broken,

& life is too short to spend it at war with yourself,

if they dont like you, who the hell cares,

cut all the poison out of your life, 

it's going to hurt before it gets better,

fall for him but never chase him,

never point out someone's flaws, 

never run back to what hurt you. 

This Isn't Supposed To Be Sad

Im not afraid of public speaking 

or out loud thinking 

Im not afraid of scary movies

or drowing in jacuzzies

Im not afraid of haunted housed 

or ugly blouses

Im not afraid of strings on kite

or tiny termites

Im not afraid of you or me

or untied shoes

But I am afraid of getting hurt

and what you think of my shirt

Im afraid of how you see me 

Im afraid of how you see me 

Its as simple as that

Adolescence

"I want to paint my life with mistakes and memories. Bright and burning like the most exciting of books. Every page a meaningful tale to tell. Every page multicolored. Every page worth remembering, for the sad or the happy for the bad and the worst. I want to live not merely exist anymore. And I'm tired of the misconception that people get from arguments like this. 

I don't mean drugs or sex or alcohol. I mean road trips to unlikely places and campfires and jotting down constellations in the middle of nowhere where the loud city lights won't dim the night sky. I want to go to concert and lose my voice with the vigor of the crowd. I want to go on color runs and curse at myself when my hair looks a weird mix of green and pink for a week. I want to stay up all night talking about the universe. I want to ride a farris wheel and not close my eyes when it hits its highest point. I want to live life at its fullest without it being associated with alcohol or drugs or sex. And I want to do it now with my parents trusting me. Not at 18 when I'm bitter and angry and do most of it out of rebellious causes because f***, I spent all my life locked up in my room."

-untitledadolescent 

Three dollars from the lemonade stand

Let's go back to when washing your hands was optional,
and kisses fixed it all

when three dollars from the lemonade stand was a success
and we made our own rules to chess

when all we played was brick breaker on dads blackberry
but the word "butt" couldn't be  in our vocabulary 

when we didn't care about peeing our pants 

instead we would sit in the tree and eat tons of ants

when parents paid for everything
and wore princess dresses and lots of bling

when no one cared what they looked like in a swimming suit
and kissing our cousins was super cute

when sleeping in a car was comfortable 
When we were all so vulnerable

when pet shops and polly pockets made friends
when we weren't worried about all the trends

when we weren't worried about getting asked on date
we just wanted to turn 8

when we just showed up at friends houses
and we didn't just play on our phones and sit on their couches 

when love wasn't one our biggest battles 'cause 
we didn't even know what war was 

Song Lines

Song lines that explain my feelings/ thoughts

Just don't get attached to somebody you could lose 

It's time to let it go, go out and start again

But it's not that easy

Memories they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon 

Put your lips on mine and love the after taste 

I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kickin' back with you 

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you 

 Through all the places I have been, I'm no place without you 

All the broken dreams, never came to pass were still kings and queens 

We live in a age where everything is staged where all we do is fake our feelings

You're always trying see yourself through eyes of someone else

To shy that you need help, you and everybody else 

You make my heart feel like its summer when the rain is pouring down

You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong 

All of my friends say, I should move on

You don't have to do this on your own like there's no one that cares about you 

I wouldn't leave you, I would hold you

How did we end like this, liven lives that we don't care about

How the hell does a broken heart get back together when it's torn apart 

When you and I are alone I've never felt so at home 

You're the one I want, you're the one I need 

Guards are always at the gate turning everyone away but you got through, didn't you 

 Tryin to make it all worth while

Maybe live everyday like its your last day under the sun

I can still taste the kiss that you left on my lips 

 You can drive, all night, looking for the answers in the pouring rain 

So sweet with a mean streak 

MY love

MY love,

You're with the wrong person

It's okay I'll wait